Overall aggression – where does it come from?
February 18, 2012 § Leave a comment
Have you ever thought, what is the driving force of our society? Why do we act the way we act and do what we do exactly in the way we do it? Why is our everyday life so fulfilled with aggression and intolerance towards each other? Why is aggression present in families, in collectives as well as in wider society? Why are we often so negatively inclined? The driving force of the society is competition, which is cultivated starting from kindergarten until elderly age. An inevitable outcome of competition is aggression. Already in kindergarten and school children learn the basics of life – if you compete with your classmates, if you beat them in different disciplines of studies, sport and other activities, you will be rewarded by the educators and parents and sometimes gain the desired popularity. This competition is performed not only by trying to be better yourself, but also by abusing the competitors, impeding them and enjoying their failures. The same kindergarten situation continues also in work collectives – many employees try to stand out by putting others down and gossiping to lift themselves and get some benefits. Furthermore, people have a mysterious tendency to form microgroups, which usually have one leader, who tries to involve more people into the group to fight against other groups, which have other leaders. Often people, who are involved in these groups are not aggressive by themselves, but they usually comply under the pressure of the group and the leader’s authority and express aggression towards other groups. In all collectives such groups only spread tension, aggression and conflict situations. Why do we tend to form such microgroups? Maybe the cause of this tendency is the fear of aggression – we form groups to be protected and to avoid responsibility for our decisions – the group will make many decisions for us. The biggest fear of people is to be threatened, to take responsibility (also to make mistakes and be responsible for them) and to be rejected… It’s a paradox – fear of aggression makes us form groups, which become the cause of aggression.
Another interesting issue concerning groups is, that, when people communicate alone with each other, they are rarely aggressive. Aggression most often manifests in interaction – in groups, collectives or other alignments of society. Possibly there is a very simple explanation for that – people are not aggressive by themselves when they have no one to compete with, but as soon as competitors appear beside, competition comes into existence and aggression as well. The conclusion is that, the less people have in common, the less likely they will express aggression. If two people represent different fields, different social groups and they have different goals and wishes, then they will have nothing to compete for and the competition fight will not take place.
Permanent struggle and competition can be observed not only in collectives, but also in the whole our living environment. Somebody pushes you aside to be first in a queue, aggressive drivers beep on the road to get past you and so on and so on… Our society is formed in such a way, that to each individual others are only obstacles to step over towards the desired achievements – career, wealth, fame and approval from others. An exception is your microgroup, which you can rely on, but it’s members will only stand up for you until a certain level – until you obey it’s rules and until private interests of other members are not endangered.
When will we finally understand a basic truth, that by grabbing everything for ourselves and leaving others with nothing we gain only misfortune and misery, we only destroy ourselves and the planet we live on? When will we realize, that only by giving to others we can gain most of all ourselves? But we are afraid, that we will lack something, if we don’t compete. We can’t imagine, that, if our view of the world was different, we wouldn’t have to fight. Love is however a perpetual resource – it could be enough for everyone! We could live in harmony with other people and nature – create, not destroy and love, not compete… But we are afraid to think differently. We are so afraid to be pushed out of the society, we desire so much to be accepted and approved, that we are afraid to look at life in a different way. It is so important for us to fit in – otherwise it would be hard to fulfill our needs… Therefore we are afraid to be different. How could we possible say something against the market economy, which is based on competition and aggression, if we are nurtured with it already from the childhood? We are prepared for the market economy already from childhood… Besides we are often afraid to think individually and we rely upon authorities – if parents, teachers, chiefs, politicians and celebrities say, that it is good to compete, why then should we think differently? Will that moment ever come, when our eyes will finally open and we will see, how false our perception of life is?
Another question is – when does the significant moment happen, when we actually become agressive? Small children are so sweet, innocent, sincere, they trust and they rely… Is the tendency to aggression inborn or adopted? It could be inborn because competition is present also in nature – the strongest survives! Are we also animals in our deepest essence? On the other hand aggression could be also adopted from the first moment of communication and interaction with others, when the fight for your rights begins…
What is the solution for people, who are not consistent with this aggressive society structure, people, who long only for peace and harmony? They have no place in the society and no place in the labour market or work collectives… How can they survive in a society, where they can not integrate? And what if one of them at some moment takes the courage to say aloud: „I will not compete anymore!”? Do you think, that he could survive? Or is he doomed to become one of those homeless people, who didn’t want or didn’t know how to compete and became pushed out of the society? Even if a person is incredibly talented, he will have no place in this society, if he doesn’t know, how to compete. If you will not compete, you will be crashed by others, who see you only as an obstacle… Unfortunately aggression reaches us not only in a wider society and collectives, but also in a family. We all are part of the society and it influences us constantly. Even standing apart from the society and isolation can not protect from the overall aggression, which has overtaken our society. Aggression and competition are considered normal and even supportable issues. Maybe somewhere under the line of awareness people do have some intuitive notion, that something is not completely right with us, but everybody has to fit into the society… it can not be said aloud…